7 Practical Steps to Become a Family First Father at Work in 2023
Back in 2002, my father wrote a book on this subject called "Family First, tales of a working father". In this article, I will share with you a list of 7 rules he outlined in the book to help young fathers keep up with the demands of a full-time job and a growing family in 2023. Whether you're just starting your career or you're a seasoned professional, these tips will help you find the balance you need to be the best father possible.
1. Let your boss know of your commitment
"Biggest mistake working fathers make with their superiors is simply not letting them know the importance family plays in their work day" - Family First
As a father, it's important to let your boss know that your family is a top priority in your life. This doesn't mean that you're not committed to your work, but it does mean that you may need to make certain accommodations in order to balance your work and family commitments.
By being upfront about your commitment to your family, you can create a better understanding between yourself and your boss, and ensure that your work and personal life don't clash.
2. Let your boss know what this commitment means
"Make it clear that you'll commit yourself to a certain range of hours in the office." - Family First
It's not enough to simply say that you're committed to your family – you also need to explain what this means in practical terms.
For example, you may need to arrive at work a little later in the morning in order to get your kids ready for school, or you may need to leave work early in order to attend a parent-teacher conference.
By explaining the specific commitments that you have to your family, you can help your boss to understand your needs and work with you to find a solution that works for everyone.
3. Make sure your boss knows of your productivity
"Don't expect your boss to go looking for your contributions. Your boss will probably only look for the typical "hours worked" metric. You need to arm your own boss with the same kind of information so that they too, can defend your abilities by illustrating your performance factors." - Family First
While it's important to be upfront about your family commitments, it's also important to show that you're still a productive and valuable member of the team. Make sure to keep your boss informed about your work progress, and go above and beyond when it comes to meeting deadlines and exceeding expectations.
By demonstrating that you're still able to get your work done, even with your family commitments, you'll be able to show your boss that you're still a valuable asset to the team.
• Project Name
• Owner
• Weekly Accomplishments
• Next Steps
4. Be Flexible
"By not being flexible, resentment will grow in your coworkers will perceive that if a special project arises that needs extra work, you won't be there for your team that is not the kind of reputation you need or want" - Family First
In order to be a Family First father at work, it's important to be flexible in order to meet the needs of both your family and your job.
This may mean being willing to work extra hours when needed, or being open to adjusting your schedule to accommodate your family commitments. When needed, be ready and willing to sacrifice family commitments when the job calls for it. And likewise, you should expect work to understand and accomodate times for when you have a sick child or another emergency.
By being flexible, you'll be able to find a balance that works for everyone, and you'll be able to show your boss that you're willing to go above and beyond to get the job done.
5. Be upfront about family commitments
"Don't become "that guy" that is always available on the weekends. You can't do it all, so only commit to things where you can give your 100% – both with family and on the job." - Family First
Don't be afraid to let your boss know if you have a family obligation that may affect your work schedule, and work with your boss to find a solution that works for everyone.
Be upfront about your commitments to show your boss that you're responsible and reliable. Then you'll be able to build a stronger relationship with your boss as a result.
If you work a 9-5 job and don't work after hours, this might not be necessary.
But if you bring work home and people expect you to be online, settings an "OOO from 5pm - 7:30pm" daily block will help set expectations with others that you will get to work, but not when you're spending time with family
6. Don't hide your family
"Place a picture of your family on your desk or hang drawings that they did in school. People should know that you have a family." - Family First
As a Family First father at work, it's important to be open and honest about your family. Don't be afraid to talk about your kids or your spouse with your boss or coworkers, and don't be afraid to bring pictures or other reminders of your family to work.
By being open and transparent about your family, you'll be able to show your boss and coworkers that your family is a top priority in your life, and you'll be able to build stronger relationships with them as a result.
7. Earn the right to spend time with your family
"Being Family First is a two-way street. You cannot expect your job to honor your requests if you're not willing to work hard while on the clock." - Family First
This means being a responsible and reliable employee, and going above and beyond to meet the expectations of your boss and coworkers, when necessary.
By consistently putting in extra effort and demonstrating your dedication to your job, you'll be able to earn the trust and respect of your boss, and you'll be able to negotiate flexible work arrangements that allow you to spend more time with your family.
As you can see, this is a two-way street. The truth is that you as a young father cannot expect to have everything handed to you on a silver plate. If you're not willing to put in the work, why should a company take a chance on you?
Especially if you're working in a startup, there are expectations to have times at work where you will need to grind it out with everyone else. Don't let your team down in times of need and they won't let you down when you ask for family concessions down the road.
So, while its not as easy as it may have seemed, being a Family First father is certainly worth it.
Forming Fathers is here to help build you, young men, up so you can become a great father. Through the sacrifice gifted in fatherhood, you will find the meaning and purpose you want so badly desire. Join the movement, subscribe to the podcast, and let's man up together.